Autumn's Birth Story: Walking Miracles

Walking Miracles

   

We’ve all heard of walking miracles. Some people may have seen them first hand, while others have heard of people witnessing them. Of course when you think of us all in perspective, we're all miracles. I truly believe my daughter and I are both here by the grace of God; walking miracles. It's taken me awhile to finally sit down and actually be ready to share with the world our birth story. It's been such an emotional roller coaster but I’m ready. Please know that before you read this I am in no way trying to force God onto anyone by any means. But HE IS REAL. 

   

Ever had a dream or seen a movie where someone actually sees that bright white light. I’ve seen it…But my story wasn't over I had a purpose here on Earth. To be a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend but things happen. Things that won't make sense and questions that you feel are left unanswered. Like why do things like this happen and while I may not have the right answer I feel like God sometimes puts you through things that you can't handle so that we turn to him. Not everyone writes their birth story and shares it with the world but for me I feel like God is speaking to me, using me as a vessel to help others. Others that maybe went through something like this or similar. Someone that might just need to hear that there's somebody else in this world that's been through something just like them. I've learned some pretty important things walking away from this. One being I'm not in control and two life is so precious. Every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, every hour of every day and so on. These are the things I'm thinking about now. While it maybe hard because it's all around us I'm not focused on materialism. These things don't come to heaven with us but instead I'm creating moments and memories that I'll have forever. Anyways this is our story and it's coming straight from my heart. And for me this is as real as it gets.

 December 23, 2016  

   

  

 I had woken up from a dream that felt so real. You know what I mean we've all had them. My husband Justin and I had been trying to get pregnant for a couple months. I had been feeling weird the week prior. I had been praying so hard to get pregnant. I honestly wanted to be a mother so bad. The night before I had this dream I had bougten a pregnancy test because I had been tracking the days with an app on my phone. I was late, and I was trying so hard not to get to excited because I had taken one before. So I went to bed that night and I actually woke up before my alarm because I had this crazy dream. I was taking a test and I couldn't read it. Now I was bugging, I remember going in the bathroom that morning quietly because my husband was still sleeping. I'm crying right now thinking about when I turned the stick over and saw the TWO LINES. I thought I was dreaming still. I fell to my knees then got up and kneeled by my husband and said "Babe it happened..." He said "What we are late for work" thinking that we over slept. So I looked at him again and said " No IT happened" and I smiled. "Are you serious" He said to take another just to be sure. We were pregnant. I was so excited I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long. 

Alright fast forward time. 8 months to be exact. (and 8 months on the day)

  

 August 23, 2017 

  

  My husband and I were on our way to what was our last ultrasound and following that I had my last OBGYN visit, our due date was September 2, 2017. Everything was fine my entire pregnancy. Had the normal morning sickness and super swollen feet, but as we were waiting for our OB to come in I heard a voice in the hallway and I immediately recognized it. It was him and he was talking in a very serious tone. Something that defiantly wasn’t normal for him. We always hear him joking around before he walks in to see us. I remember telling my husband whatever patient of his he’s talking about I hope they’re okay. I got this eery feeling in the pit of my stomach right before he walked in to see us. I’m getting chills just writing this because I can still remember the feeling. That patient well,... it was me. He said something showed up on our ultrasound of our daughter and it looks like she may have what's called duodenal atresia. (the congenital absence or complete closure of a portion of the lumen of the duodenum. It causes increased levels of amniotic fluid during pregnancy (polyhydramnios) and intestinal obstruction in newborn babies.) If our daughter had this she would have to have an immediate surgery to repair this. After hearing this news my husband and I did what every couple  would and shouldn’t do. We googled what he had said she might have and read that with this condition there's a chance of her having down syndrome as well. He wanted to do a more intensive ultrasound that Friday so he sent us home without checking me in hopes of not sending me into early labor. We were so overwhelmed and in tears, so many emotions flying. We drove home to get ready for work since we had taken the morning off to go to these appointments together. We quickly realized there was no way in the state of mind we were in to go back so we both took a sick day to be with each other. I had fallen asleep on the couch and had gotten up to use the bathroom and yep right there in the middle of our living room floor my water breaks. I think the news we had gotten earlier that morning sent me into early labor. But I feel it all happened for a reason. Everything that we heard that morning fell to the back of my mind. We were both excited our daughter was coming. We of course had nothing packed so I quickly thought of what we needed threw it in a bag and we were out the door. I wasn’t in any pain yet and we were both starving. (we were so stressed we never ate) McDonald's it was since I had remembered them telling us once we were admitted no more food. The hospital was packed we got there at like 2:30 pm and sat in triage for a couple hours. Every room was taken so we spent the first night down in triage on an emergency bed. I did my best to try and get as much sleep as I could but I didn’t get much. I was so excited to meet her. 

August 24, 2017

  

  

  Next morning we finally get the clear that there's an open room. It wasn't until we had gotten settled that a nurse had asked me about preclampsia. I was never diagnosed with it my entire pregnancy until the day before she came. When I had gotten to the hospital the day before I was only dilated to 0.5 cm. When we got into our room next morning we were only at 2 cm. They set us up and prepped us for the epidural. Contractions started getting more regular and stronger. I remember my husband helping me use the breath technique during every single contraction. I was only dilating like half a cm every couple hours. That night was one of the longest nights of my life. I remember having to sleep with a ball between my legs and every time I would get comfortable, they'd come in and want to check again. They would have me turn from side to side to try and help progress faster but nothing seemed to help even the pitocin. 

August 25, 2017 

  

  Next morning came and when they checked me again I was finally 9 cm and they had said they could feel her head but it took so long getting there and I was so exhausted. We knew she was bigger than average so in retrospect making the call to have a c-section was wise. (Otherwise she probably wouldn't be here or I would have had an emergency c section) I was in labor for two full days before we made this call. I just wanted her out. I can still hear them asking "in the matter of losing too much blood would you be okay receiving it". You know things never go as planned, even though I had no real birth plan I still never thought I'd have to have a c section to deliver my daughter. It wasn’t an emergency so I had to wait about 30 minutes or so for everything to be prepped. I asked multiple times for someone to pinch me to make sure the epidural worked. I’ve never been so scared and so nervous at the same time. I can still feel how dry my lips were when they wheeled me in the OR. “Your going to feel a little pressure right now,” is what the surgeon said right before my daughter was born earth side and she took her first breath. I knew the NICU team was there and they were going to take her right after so they could make sure she was okay. But I just wanted to hear her cry once. She cried!!! I got to kiss her once before they took her away. I had no idea if my daughter was okay or not, and not a clue in the world that from that moment on I'd be fighting for my life. (She ended up being just fine, nothing wrong at all, healthy as can be. 8lbs 3oz 21.5in). Something felt so strange like not right. I heard all the doctors scrambling saying they needed blood and fast. I felt like my life was literally being sucked out of me. I can faintly hear one of them saying she’s losing color. I was hemorrhaging and they couldn’t stop it. One of the surgeons I heard say "we might have to perform a hysterectomy". I didn’t want this and I wanted them to do whatever they could so I didn’t have to have this done. This was our first child and I knew I wanted more than one since I grew up one of five. I asked to have my husband come back in so we could pray before they took me to another hospital. He wasn’t allowed to come in, I remember praying to myself for everything to turn out okay with me and for my daughter. It felt like it had been hours since she was born and at the time I didn’t know if she was okay or not. They quickly got me buckled on the stretcher and were wheeling me away. I couldn’t even imagine what my husband and family were feeling at this time. So I was then transferred by ambulance to ORMC (another nearby hospital) to have what's called a vascular embolization. (a procedure that's performed to block the flow of blood through a blood vessel. Embolization involves making a needle puncture, often in the groin, to insert a catheter into one of the body's main blood vessels. From there, the catheter is threaded under x ray guidance to the location to be treated. The physician deploys the embolic agent through the catheter, effectively stopping the blood flow to that vessel.)  I remember asking one of the doctors when they were going to start and he said they were already done. I seriously felt like I was dreaming. As I was being loaded back into the ambulance people were asking me if I remembered what my name and date of birth were. I can visibly see myself lying on a hospital bed waiting for a room to be ready in WICU (women’s intensive care unit) looking down at my arms with so many things attached to them. Then I saw my husband for the first time since he was asked to leave the OR. He smiled and started bawling. He asked me to take a photo to send to the whole family who I guess had been waiting in the main area of the hospital the entire time. I was going do whatever it took to fight, to be the mother I so desperately wanted to be, and to be the wife my husband needed so desperately at this time in our life. I had lost so much blood I needed a blood transfusion. Later that evening everyone had left and went home and my husband and I rested in our room as they thought they had stopped the bleeding, but they were wrong I was still bleeding. 

August 26, 2017

   

  One of the surgeons there came into our room that night and checked me. I was experiencing pain when my stomach was touched and bleeding more than normal vaginally. This night I can say by far was the worst pain I’ve ever been in my entire life and I can handle pain very well. As the surgeon kept inserting his hands, he kept pulling out blood clots. I turned my head toward my husband tears rolling down my cheeks I kept yelling I can’t do this anymore. There were too many clots. He pulled my husband outside and I knew what he was saying. When my husband came back in I pulled the words from his mouth. "Do what has to be done" I told him "I have to be a mommy for Autumn". It was the only way as much as I didn’t want it to happen. A hysterectomy was necessary to save my life or I would bleed to death. I remember calling my mom at like 2 in the morning to tell her I was being taken back in the OR for more surgery. She was a mess I could hear her getting out of bed saying she was on her way. I asked the RN that was on at the time if she could have Autumn brought down before I went in so I could see her.  After that I don’t remember anything until I saw the white light that everyone talks about before you go to heaven. It was like a dream but real life. I don’t know what it was but I had left the hospital and went back home to see our dogs. It was like I was there to say goodbye. Somehow I ended up back at the hospital dreaming I was strapped down (I really was because I had been intubated for the surgery). I guess I had begged the RN Saturday morning to take the straps off and she had told me not to touch the breathing tube. What did I do? I ended up ripping it out. I looked down at my arms I was so bruised from the amount of times I was pricked and prodded. They said I lost 2 2-liters of blood (2 coke bottles). I remember walking for the first time with a walker and a oxygen tank following me, I was so determined to get better. I felt such a sense of accomplishment walking that very first time after everything that I had been through. Each walk got a little better and we walked a little father than the last. I spent almost a week in ICU and was transferred up stairs to recover for the next 3. 

September 1, 2017

  

  That Friday we finally got the clear to go home. I was able to get up and use the bathroom. I was eating and taking care of Autumn. I was so proud of what I had overcome as we where going down in the elevator. On our way home I couldn’t take my eyes off our daughter. Then out of no where extreme nausea hit me. It was weird so I asked my husband to pull over to grab something to eat thinking that would help make it go away. By Sunday two days later I noticed I wasn’t hungry like I was before. I still made myself eat because I didn’t want to end up in the hospital again and I was already smaller than my pre pregnancy weight. Late that night I was up feeding our almost two week old and the nausea came back. This time I couldn’t hold it down. Felt like morning sickness all over again. My husband texted the family that we were on our way back to the hospital and they were going to readmit me. I guess it's common after major surgery for your insides to actually go to sleep. It's called an Ellis and other than iv treatment to keep you from dehydration and not being allowed to eat that's all they can do to try and get them to turn back on. And worse case if that don't work they would had to go in surgically.  So another night in the hospital. After a few hours had passed I had a little gas or bowel movement so they had given me the okay to try cranberry juice and crackers and I was able to keep it down so I was discharged later that day.  But later that night at home I threw up again and this time every time I ate something it came up. I couldn't even keep down water. I had thrown up so much I seriously felt my throat getting so swollen it was closing. I was actually scared of not being able to breathe and I felt so bad for my family because I had not given them a break. It was one thing after another. So I was then again admitted. This time I was in there another week. At one point I felt like this was just it. I was always going to feel this way. I was never going to feel like myself. I was so severely dehydrated this time around. I continued to throw up even though I wasn’t eating so they looked into the issue more with scans and someone had come into our room and said looks like you need your gallbladder taken out. I was freaking out after everything I had already been through and they wanted to open me back up again. My body was saying you don’t need this taken out so we decided at this time to not have that done. A day or so passed and I was finally able to keep things down and had my appetite back. So after my husband and I prayed about it we had said we weren't going to have it taken out just yet. We of course had to have this okay'ed by someone higher up and he had said it wasn't necessary at the moment but if I had any more issues that it would have to be taken out. BTW this third time around at the hospital we also endured a major hurricane (Hurricane Irma).  Anyways after almost 3 weeks in total at the hospital and pretty much missing Autumn's first couple weeks of life, we are doing much better. It's been 5 months and by the grace of God we are all doing fine and back in the swing of things. Defiantly counting my blessings everyday because things could have ended up different. As crazy as it sounds I would go through all this again for her. She has been such a light in my life. I fall more and more in love with her everyday. That mother daughter bond is such an amazing thing and I love being her mommy. As far as having more children, I can’t physically carry another child again, but they were able to perform a partial hysterectomy which means they were able to save an ovary so we can still have a biological child of our own or we could adopt when the time is right. I’m trying not to move too fast and enjoy Autumn but God willing things will work out. I just want to say real quick that what I've learned is to let God be the one in control. As I sit here writing this for myself and for my daughter to read in the future. I'm also writing to all those out there that have had their lives turned upside down or have gone through a traumatic event. I truly hope our story can help others. You are not alone. If anyone reading this has written their birth story please comment with a link to yours. I'd love to read it. 

If you would like to ask questions or want to share your birth story please chat with me on instagram @rxz88m. 

Isaiah 41:10 ESV 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 



Thank you to everyone who helped in our journey with Autumn. The hospital, the staff, our family and friends. We love all you dearly. 

There's a couple individuals I'd like to personally thank. 

One of the anesthesiologists Dana- Thank you for taking such good care of me. For keep me calm in the midst of things. And for all those times you checked back in to see how I was doing. 

Dr. Martinez- Thank you so much for being so real with us about everything and for taking such good care of me. 

Dr. Bielawny- Thank you for being our amazing ob and for being there the entire pregnancy. I know we both probably didn't expect it to turn out like this but I'm so fortunate that you were there to help. 

And to someone I'll hold so dear to my heart. The best RN out there... Ashley. Your a rockstar. I definitely couldn't have done this without you. I was blown away by your bedside manner. First night I was there with you I could feel this. I have never met anyone thats been so passionate about their job. So much kindness, so much patience, so much warmth and so much grace. I sincerely want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you did along the way during our journey. Your an angel and I wouldn't want anyone else to take your spot in our journey. I hope I wasn't too much of a pain in the butt. (Haha)